December 12th, 2003

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I spent the WHOLE day shopping today. Blargh. Totall dog themed purchases today: 4. Julia, helping people have tacky living rooms one resin dog at a time.

The first one I bought for my niece, Adrian. She's getting Married in January and she actually had a 13" resin dog on her bridal registry list at Bed Bath and Beyond. I thought it was too funny and tacky to pass up. I had the choice between a black lab and a terrier, but the black labs were all shite (paint chipping off, etc.) so I went for the terrier. I also picked up a zen garden for her, so you know, it wasn't like the only thing I got her was a fake dog. I walked through the store laughing about the fact that I was actually going to pay for this thing, and that my niece was really going to like it, and when I got to the register, the lady flipped out. She was like, "Oh, this little guy s SOOO precious! Isn't he just Precious? He's just CUTE!" And she went on for like five minutes in this vein. I guess people out there really like these things.

The other two resin dogs are more like three inches tall instead of a foot. I found them at Dollar Plus, where everyone who runs the store speaks Russian. I know this becuase when I was at the check out the lady got a phone call and said, "Da, da, da. Nyet!" and then went off on a stream of other Russian words that I don't know. Except Harasho. She said that a few times, too.

Anyway, the dogs I got there are these very disturbing diva dogs. They have microphones and are all dressed up in slutty clothes, and standing on two legs... and they have breasts! The one I got for my sister is a dalmatian in a short blue dress with hella cleavage. The hand that isn't holding the microphone is on her ass. I like to think of her as "R&B Diva Dogg".

The other one is more "Britney Wannabe Diva Dogg" and I got her for my mother's foreign exchange student, Marianne. Her Birthday is Wednesday and she loves pink, and B-Dogg is all in a pink tube top and hiphugger capris. Oh, and she's a Bassett Hound. I repeat, these dogs have resin breasts. Terrifying. Other than that, I got a Dogs and Puppies calender for the other foreign exchange student (the one who always watches shows like "Pet Star"). Not terribly exciting except when considered in the total dog gift tally. So many dog presents.
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